You Can Heal Your Heart After Grief: Honoring Infertility and Miscarriage

There are certain things in life that we often take for granted. For example, when little girls play house with their dolls, they assume that when they grow up, they'll be able to have a baby if they want to. They never imagine that their body's biological clock may wind down, that they may not be able to get pregnant, or that a pregnancy might not be successful. Nor would they be able to anticipate the amount of shame and stigma that some people attach to those things. If a woman wants a biological child but isn't able to conceive, she may feel that she isn't fulfilling her destiny as a female, or that shes letting down her partner. She will most likely not be able to predict the personal grief that accompanies the loss of that kind of attachment, and she may subconsciously begin a bout of negative self-talk such as "I'm defective; something's wrong with me..."

One way that a woman who has experienced the loss of infertility or a miscarriage can heal her heart is by replacing the negative self-talk with positive affirmations such as:

• I forgive my body.
• My body is doing everything it is destined to do.
• I am worthy of being a mother.
• A real mother is defined by her ability to love.

Affirmations are powerful tools, especially when used with mirror work. My co-author of You Can Heal Your Heart, Louise L. Hay, has done a beautiful job of demonstrating how to practice mirror work in the video below. If you or someone you loved has experienced the loss of a child, I encourage you to share this tool and begin a path to find inner peace.



This blog has been brought to life by PESI speaker and renowned grief and loss expert David Kessler. It features passages from his book You Can Heal Your Heart, co-authored by Louise L. Hay.